If You Give a Mom a Muffin
If you give a Mom a muffin-
She’ll want a glass of orange juice to go with it.
She’ll go get a glass from the cupboard and find all the glasses in the dishwasher.
So she calls for her son to do his dishwasher job, and notices spilled crayons on the stairs.
As she waits for the dishwasher son to arrive, she calls for the daughter who left the crayons on the stairs.
As she waits again, she can’t help but see jam fingerprints all the way down the stair wall.
Off to the kitchen she goes to find a wet cloth, but finds last nights lasagna pan soaking in the sink.
Another child, the pan-duty child, is also added to her sweet sounding summons.
As she wipes off the sticky jam, she remembers that her husband needs lunch for today.
She runs to the fridge, and sees that there is nothing to make a lunch with so she pulls out her pad of paper and starts to jot down a grocery list.
As she is making her shopping list, she remembers she needs to call her sister to cancel their shopping trip scheduled for tomorrow.
Running to the phone, she sees her son’s Scout Handbook on the counter and panics to think he needs his latest merit badge sown on before tonights Court of Honor.
She hurries to find the scout shirt but trips on the ten pairs of loose shoes in the door way of the laundry room.
As she is tumbling to the ground, she suddenly remembers her morning exercise still hasn’t happened.
She grabs her walking shoes and heads for the door.
Before she gets to the door, her summoned children arrive upstairs whining about her demands.
She then starts showing the evidence of unfulfilled jobs to her offspring, and runs into her waiting husband holding his car keys.
Quickly she heads for the pantry and crunches breakfast cereal that was spilled all over the pantry floor.
She grabs the broom, and starts to sweep but is met with, “Don’t worry about lunch, honey. Gotta go. I’ll just have this muffin.”
Feeling bad, she heads to the fruit basket to hand her husband an orange, and remembers, orange…juice…muffin?
And chances are…
If she ever finds a clean glass for her orange juice,
She will see that her muffin was just taken by her husband trying to get out the door to work.
Lol that’s why I don’t want kids or a husband. My life is all about me. Me ME me.