Writing a post about children leaving our nest royally stinks. These are those moments when I wonder, “Why do I create posts like this? This is self torture.”
Dolly M, my oldest daughter and the 4th child, is now on her way into the real world…or rather, the college world. She is on the edge of the nest, suit case in hand and ready to try her wings.
So many memories of Dolly M are flooding my mind’s eye right now, especially as I peruse over all the gut wrenching photos of her sparkling, beautiful smile.
I wonder where all the time has gone, where all the days and months have evaporated to and am oddly hearing in my head (which is rather freaky) “Sunrise, Sunset”.
NO, NO, NO!! Stop, stop, stop! No sunrises or sunsets. I am not ready to be a Tzeitel.
Let’s just concentrate on the positives and be grown up about this. Save the blubbering for when I am in the house… after she drives away… where she cannot see me do the ugly cry thing.
OK, the positives:
Number one: After three handsome, fun-loving boys, I got a girl to play dress-up and not get squirted when I changed her diaper.
Number two: I finally had a child that I could buy baby dolls, strollers and miniature kitchens for her to play house with instead of the guns, swords, trucks and army men.
Number three: Having bows, ribbons and bobby pins scattered all over the bathroom drawers made me smile and appreciate that she could grow her hair out and didn’t need a haircut every 4-6 weeks!
Number four: It’s pretty comforting having another female, hormonal and all, to be on my side when there is wrestling before family prayer, marathon ESPN game days, and debates over what masculine movie we should watch.
Number five: I love that Dolly M has her head on straight and is grounded, loves and cherishes all things family, loves God with all her heart, treats others kindly, makes good choices, and wants to keep learning and become her best self.
I guess that says it all–I am one blessed mama. A mama that is losing another baby bird.
When each of you shall in your nest
Among your young ones take your rest,
In chirping language, oft them tell,
You had a dam that loved you well,
That did what could be done for young,
And nursed you up till you were strong,
And ‘fore she once would let you fly,
She showed you joy and misery;
Taught what was good, and what was ill,
What would save life, and what would kill.
Thus gone, amongst you I may live,
And dead, yet speak, and counsel give:
Farewell, my birds, farewell adieu,
I happy am, if well with you.
(From “In Reference To Her Children” by Anne Bradstreet)
Fly strong Dolly M, and fly high and straight!